The fog has lifted

The Fog has lifted…

There are just a handful of people that know that the past three months have really been hard for me. I have been going through a severe depression even though nothing in my life was wrong. There was no tragedy, no death, no misfortune. Everything in my life was the same..wonderful husband, beautiful children, food on the table, roof over my head. So why so down? Why was I crying for no reason? Why didn’t every little thing in the world bother me? Why did I have a low tolerance for stress and frustration? Basically the ins and outs of just living were just too much for me. I have a history of depression so I did seek medical treatment for it and certainly that helped but I was still so sad.

My relationship with Christ during this time has been fair to good. I wasn’t angry with God or upset with Him. I accepted a long time that depression was part of my life story. One day, I feel like God will heal me completely of it but until then, I have an attitude of acceptance. As I walked through this journey, I felt like a footprints in the sand story. God was getting me through this. God was by my side. God is faithful. God knows. God cares. God loves. All those things were true and I felt them in a very real way.

I was still stuck in a fog though unable to see my way out. Wondering when this was all going to end. And then it happened. God sent a lady into my life. A lady who is only merely an acquaintance to encourage me with Godly counsel in a way that no one else had in the past couple of months.

Here is just a portion of what she said to me… “Worry and worship cannot coexist. Praise will alter our moods. Stay focused and be purposeful in your praise - even when you don't feel like it! Don't affirm misery - by choosing to praise God for all things you will find your heart lighter.”

The thing that had the most impact is “don’t affirm misery”. That’s exactly what I have been doing. I have been focused on myself and have been selfish that I have not been committed to the things that would bring me true joy which comes by praising God. I have been using depression as an excuse to not live my life to the fullest. To not live it with purpose. I have used it as an excuse to simply stop living. So when my friend gave me this counsel, I realized that I had a choice. And I choose to praise God and to live my life to the fullest. I will not affirm misery. I will stand strong in the strength of the Lord when trials come my way. I will deal with frustration and stress as it comes and I will not let it bring me down. I will be joyful. I will praise the Lord. I will give Him all the glory and thankfulness. I will pour myself out to Him. I will love my husband. I will love my children. I will put their needs before mine. I will be disciplined. I will obedient. I will be patient. I will say no to Satan trying to bring me down. I have a lot of “I” in there but the Lord gives me strength and He doesn’t give us more than we can handle. He gives me exactly the amount of strength that I need for that day. And I trust Him completely to take care of all my needs including my emotional ones.

I titled this post “The fog has lifted” because I feel like I was walking through my life in a fog and the Lord was with me in the fog but then through the use of His servant, my friend, the fog was parted and beyond the clouds is the Light. So now the fog has cleared and I can clearly see the Light that shines my path and I no longer need to live in the darkness.

Philippians 1: 6 Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

So when you see me again, I hope you will see this new joy that is within me. And to all my Bible Study ladies, I "get" the chapter on joy now for I have found the joy that only Christ can give.