It hurts

Everything hurts right now. Everything hurts really really badly. I don't want to cry anymore. I just want to sleep. But I can't sleep. I can only cry. My face is chapped. It stings. My eyes burn. My nose is stuffy and it hurts. My chest hurts. It hurts to breathe. Everything just really really hurts. Tomorrow I go to a funeral for a 2 year old. I have never gone to a funeral for a child before. I don't want to go. He was a wonderful 2 year old. I will miss you, Brock. On Wednesday, I go to the funeral for my father in law. I loved him very much. He was a 2nd Dad to me. I am going to miss him so much. I want to protect my son from knowing that he's gone but I don't know how. He loved Grandpa too and I don't want him to be sad. He doesn't understand death and I think he will ask where Grandpa is and we will tell him "He's not here" until one day, he doesn't ask anymore. And then that day will be sad. Andrew will never know his Grandpa. His Grandpa that loved him so much. I will miss you, Neil.