My thoughts on finding birth parents

I have a unique perspective on this because I have two adopted siblings from totally different circumstances. A came from a 15 year old girl who got pregnant. She tried to raise the child herself but she just wasn't mature enough. The adoption day was very emotional for the mom but she knew it was the best thing for A and she was glad that she was being placed in my parent's home where both she and A had been living since A was nine days old. Then I have my little brother C. He was a foster child whose mom was so strung out on drugs that she lost her fight to keep him. She ended up in jail. I do believe that she loved C but drugs do horrible things to people as we know. The dad wasn't on drugs but I don't think he was in a position either to keep C. He did buy him a little pair of Nike shoes and one day my mom is going to tell C that his dad loved him so much that he bought him these shoes.

So I know that I am not adopted so yes, I haven't walked those shoes. And one could tell me that all circumstances are different and by the above examples, obviously, I know this to be true. And there are thousands of examples where it might be completely appropriate for a person to not seek out their birth mother. So here's my generalized rant and if you personally are offended, I am sorry. Feel free to leave your own opinion in my comments.

I think that in most cases of adoption (not all), it is incredibly selfish for a person to completely ignore requests by birth parents to meet them when they become an adult. I have heard stories of people that say that they don't want to hurt their real parents. That the birth mother gave them away so that's that. And it angers me. And I guess it upsets me now because I am a parent and I love my children so much and I loved them the day that they were born. Sometimes giving away a child can be the most unselfish thing that the mother does. And that mother gave you away into a wonderful home. And then she wants to contact you when you are 18 and you just say No. Really? If I was adopted, I would be glad that my mother chose life because we live in a day and age where way too many moms don't do that. So I say hooray for moms that put their kids up for adoption. The least you can do when you turn 18 is allow her to meet you. She is not your "parent". She would never replace the relationship that you have with your parents. But she did give birth to you and that's gotta count for something. This opinion would apply mostly to one type of adoption situation which is quite common - mother can't care for child and chooses to give them for adoption. There could be all sorts of situations where this wouldn't apply - abuse, surrogacy, foster care.

I would love to be part of an open adoption. I think open adoptions are great. I wouldn't do it if was in any way harmful to the child but I think there are a lot of situations where an open adoption would work out without negatively harming the child. If I was ever part of a closed adoption, I would fully support my child contacting their birth parents if they wanted to when they became adults. I know it's risky because the moms may not reciprocate the request but I think most would. I think most would be receptive to having a chance to meet their child for a second time. I probably would even encourage a continued relationship if both parties wanted it. I would never make my child think that I would "feel bad" if they sought out their birth parents.

So there's my rant/opinion. What do you think?